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Some Jokes

Contributed By: Ismo Kankaanpaa
Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself,
"I'm screwed."
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He is breathing heavily while standing above the lifeless body. Surrounding him are 100 native warriors with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."
Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."