| [ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps) |
| [ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article |
| [ ] you posted the inanely stupid '$250 Cookie Recipe' article |
| [ ] you posted an inanely stupid magic weight-loss article |
| [ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article |
| [ ] you posted an inanely stupid 'Fix Your Credit' article |
| [ ] you posted an inanely stupid "Good Time Virus" warning. |
| [ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor |
| [ ] you have a SIG with more than 4 lines of ASCII graphics |
| [ ] you assumed that AOL/CIS/Prodigy founded the Internet |
| [ ] you assumed that the Internet is a U.S. only phenomenon |
| [ ] Repeatedly requested info on where to find XXX stuff. |
| [ ] Repeatedly harassed people with androgynous names like Chris, Jamie,
or
Rajhatmalhaban, with "Are you a girl?" or "M/F?" questions.
|
| [ ] you sent a please remove me from the list message to the list rather than the list-sever |
| [ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread |
| [ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to |
| [ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads |
| [ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities |
| [ ] you advocated Net censorship |
| [ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority |
| [ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve |
| [ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread |
| [ ] you are posting an anonymous attack |
| [ ] you responded to an obvious troll |
| [ ] you posted an obvious troll |
| [ ] you neglected to do research on the chosen subject |
| [ ] you asked a question that was covered in the available FAQ |
| [ ] you redundantly covered the same point over and over |
| [ ] you crossposted excessively |
| [ ] you used long lines, i.e. you didn't break up your lines after 60-70 characters, thereby making it hard to quote your post. |
| [ ] You posted a request to send business/get well cards to a little boy with cancer who is trying to break the guiness book record. |
| [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post. |
| [ ] Over 90% of your post was quoted from a previous post and your addition was "I agree" or "Me too." |
| [ ] Barged into a quiet little newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever and started stinking up the place just because you read an article about the newsgroup/IRC channel/MUD/whatever in some magazine or hads seen it on TV etc.... |
| [ ] you discussed the following in a non-nutcase newsgroup; |
| [ ] hollow earth theory | [ ] alien President theory |
| [ ] orbital mind control frisbees | [ ] faith healing |
| [ ] government weather control | [ ] Russian psychics |
| [ ] Squeaky Fromme | [ ] the nation of France |
| [ ] robot spy bees | [ ] sexually promiscuous space aliens |
| [ ] "Manos, the Hands of Fate" | [ ] Beavis & Butthead anything |
| [ ] flat earth theory | [ ] government consipiracy theory |
| [ ] the veracity of any X-Files plot (see all of the above) | |
| [ ] Other: | |
|
| [ ] you considered the following to be reliable reference sources; |
| [ ] Golden Books' "Exploring Science", printed 1955 | | |
| [ ] Any program covered by Talk Soup or | [ ] SNL News | |
| [ ] Oliver Stone | [ ] Hard Copy | [ ] Inside Edition |
| [ ] The National Enquirer | [ ] The Sun | [ ] NY Post |
| [ ] The Union Leader | [ ] Pravda | [ ] OMNI Magazine |
| [ ] Company Marketing Hype | [ ] Microsoft | [ ] The Simpsons |
| [ ] An unidentified, but obviously stupid, person or publication | | |
| [ ] Other: | | |
|
| [ ] do not delete the "welcome to the list" message you recieved when you joined |
| [ ] allow boring and useless threads to die |
| [ ] remember that not all newsreaders are threaded |
| [ ] recall that there are academic and commercial users on the net |
| [ ] remember that the Internet is multinational |
| [ ] consider that others may know more about certain subjects than you |
| [ ] exercise some humility |
| [ ] be careful of where you are crossposting to |
| [ ] 'lurk' without posting for a few days to learn the forum of a group |
| [ ] get used to being mocked |
| [ ] stop volunteering for Armed Forces pharmaceutical experiments |
| [ ] wait at least two hours before responding to another post |
| [ ] read the FAQ (frequently asked questions) list for the group |
| [ ] learn to use the 'kill' command to eliminate erroneous posts |
| [ ] post only to alt.dev.null |
| [ ] selectively respond to threads after reading all new messages in that thread |
| [ ] voluntarily apologize in a brief post |
| [ ] no longer contribute to this newsgroup/mailing list |
| [ ] no longer contribute to any newsgroup/mailing list |
| [ ] no longer contribute to the gene pool |
| [ ] look into the possibility of medication for the above problems |
| [ ] familiarize yourself with the history of the Internet |
[ ] familiarize yourself with the concept of:
| [ ] patience | [ ] tolerance | [ ] caution |
| [ ] common courtesy | [ ] succinctness | |
| [ ] vocabulary | [ ] higher brain functions | |
| [ ] Other: | | |
|
| [ ] Re-install what ever failed mental operating system
you are currently running on. |
