| Alabama | At Least We're not Mississippi |
| Alaska | 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! |
| Arizona | Dehyd-rific! |
| Arkansas | Litterasy Ain't Everthing |
| California | As Seen on TV |
| Colorado | If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother |
| Connecticut | Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character |
| Florida | Ask Us About Our Grandkids |
| Georgia | We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism |
| Hawaii | Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) |
| Idaho | More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good |
| Illinois | Gateway to Iowa |
| Indiana | 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free |
| Iowa | Land of James T. Kirk |
| Kansas | First Of The Rectangle States |
| Kentucky | Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names |
| Louisiana | We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign |
| Maine | Cheap Lobster |
| Maryland | A Thinking Man's Delaware |
| Massachusetts | Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets) |
| Michigan | First Line of Defense From the Canadians |
| Minnesota | For Sale |
| Mississippi | Come Feel Better About Your Own State |
| Missouri | Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work |
| Montana | Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and Very Little Else |
| Nebraska | Ask About Our State Motto Contest |
| Nevada | Whores and Poker! |
| New Hampshire | Go Away and Leave Us Alone |
| New Jersey | You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! |
| New Mexico | Lizards Make Excellent Pets |
| New York | You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney |
| North Carolina | Tobacco is a Vegetable |
| North Dakota | Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones! |
| Ohio | Don't Judge Us by Cleveland |
| Oklahoma | Like the Play, Only No Singing |
| Oregon | Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner |
| Pennsylvania | Cook With Coal |
| Rhode Island | We're Not REALLY An Island |
| South Carolina | Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender |
| South Dakota | Closer Than North Dakota |
| Tennessee | The Educashun State |
| Texas | Se Hablo Ingles |
| Utah | Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus |
| Vermont | Yep |
| Virginia | Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? |
| Washington | Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers! |
| Washington, D.C. | Wanna Be Mayor? |
| West Virginia | One Big Happy Family -- Really! |
| Wisconsin | Come Cut Our Cheese |
| Wyoming | Wynot? |
