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The Twelve Full Size Jeep Steps
Contributed By: Ethan Brady
Most of us know about the AA program which helps its members stop
drinking, and how there are other "Anonymous" programs, all based on the
12 Steps originally (I think) created by the founders of AA.
Well, we all know WE'RE obsessed with our FSJ's...
- We admitted we were powerless over FSJ breakdowns and that our trail
damage was just inevitable.
- Came to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves could
restore our FSJ to perfection.
- Made a decision to turn our money and our time over to the care of
our FSJs.
- Made a searching and fearless inventory of various obsolete and
broken “spare parts” in our garage.
- Admitted to our mechanic, to our spouse and to another FSJ owners,
the exact nature of our Jeep’s needed repairs.
- Were entirely ready to show off and be proud of our FSJ’s unique
character.
- Humbly asked our spouse or significant other to ride in our FSJ,
despite any of its shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had abandoned due to working on our
FSJ, and became willing to give free trail rides to them all.
- Made direct trail ride offers to such people wherever possible,
except when to do so would injure them or the Jeep.
- Continued to take personal inventory of spare parts and when we they
are no longer needed, promptly donate them to others in need.
- Sought through upgrades and bigger tires to improve our tractive
effort with the trail surface as we four wheel, praying only for
operator skill, safety, and the power to carry our Jeep out of the
obstacle.
- Having had a GREAT TIME as the result of these steps, we tried to
carry this message to other fellow FSJ owners and practiced Tread
Lightly principles in all our off road affairs.
And if that wasn't enough for you...
The Twelve Full Size Jeep Traditions
- Our Jeep’s mechanical welfare should come first; personal off road
enjoyment depends upon getting home safely.
- For group trail rides, there is but one ultimate authority- our
Spouse. The trail leaders are trusted servants, but they do not govern
when we are allowed to go four wheeling
- The only requirement for FSJ membership is a desire to have fun in an
FSJ.
- Each Jeep should be autonomous except in matters affecting other
Jeeps or four wheeling as a whole.
- Each Jeep has but one primary purpose: To carry its passengers
through trail obstacles and get them home safely.
- A FSJ owner ought never lend his Jeep to any related family member,
lest that person not return the Jeep, and a family quarrel ensue.
- Every FSJ owner ought to be fully self-supporting, because s/he’ll
need the money.
- FSJ owners may remain forever nonprofessional, but may employ
mechanics, as needed.
- FSJ storage areas need never be organized; but we may create tire and
gas can holders, boxes, gadgets and widgets to help further our FSJ
enjoyment.
- FSJ owners should have lots of opinions on FSJ issues; thus the
controversy help others make informed decisions.
- Our public relations policy is based on attraction and promotion;
we need always to promote our Jeeps at the level of press, radio, films,
television, and other public media of communication.
- “Real Jeeps Have Frame Rails” is the foundation of all these
traditions, ever reminding us to place brute strength and function
before fuel economy.
I hope you all are LOL and no one takes offense at this, as none is
intended! :-)
Ethan B.
"Hi, my name is Ethan and I own an 83 Wagoneer Ltd..."
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