| "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience" |
| "I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat progroms" |
| "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year" |
| "Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave" |
| "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions" |
| "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades" |
| "It's best for employers that I not work with people" |
| "Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience" |
| "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time" |
| "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details" |
| "I was working for my mom until she decided to move" |
| "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments" |
| "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse" |
| "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail" |
| "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing" |
| "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage" |
| "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant" |
| "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments" |
| "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far" |
| "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store" |
| "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". I have never quit a job" |
| "Marital status: often. Children: various" |
| "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions" |
| "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers" |
| "Finished eighth in my class of ten" |
| "References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me" |
